[copied from the Caring Bridge site]
It’s been a rough day. I was up a lot earlier than I should have been, didn’t get a nap (almost a necessity for this pregnant woman), and am still up at 10 pm because I just can’t seem to get all the stuff done that I need to do. I found a bit of resentment or anger or something creeping into my attitude today. Maybe it’s a bit of hopelessness . . . some of it stems from the lack of sleep I’m sure, but I fear my natural bent to human emotions is kicking in again. I’m mean, you can only be frozen for so long when faced with this kind of heat. Eventually the shock has to wear off and we have to face the ugliness that has been hiding behind the curtains, the extreme’s of human emotions that get us into trouble. Training takes over in a time of stress, but eventually the emotions break through the barriers and cause you to question your training. Then it’s a matter of defying the moment of weakness, remembering that your training and decisions of faith were done at a time when there was less stress, and trusting yourself and the one who trained you to have thought through the options carefully when there was no pressure. So, I guess I defy my emotions. I refuse to think about it at this point, and I’m going to bed so that I will be able to think more rationally in the morning.
So, did I confuse anyone? That’s o.k. I managed to work out a few things for myself and those who need to know, will. Thanks again for all your prayers. Especially today. Keep this new baby in mind, too. It won’t be much longer.
[copied from the Caring Bridge site]
Looked at house plans again tonight. One of the things that Dan and I have done ever since we were married was design, sketch, discuss, and plan what kind of house we were going to have once we got the chance to build our own. Now I think we are actually going to be able to do that. Lord willing, by the end of the new year (2009), I’m hoping that rather than informing you all about the new baby (since I guess those days are gone for now) I’ll be telling you about the new house. For those of you who are a bit new . . . almost every year Dan and I were married I was sending out a Christmas letter telling everyone that we were pregnant and expecting a new baby, or telling them about the baby we just had. I’m doubting that I will get a Christmas letter out this year . . I’m thinking an Easter letter would be about right . . I think I’ll wait until Jr. #7 is born and then fill you all in on the exciting year that God had planned for me. So, don’t be miffed if you don’t get a Christmas letter. We are still thinking about you all and we hope you have a wonderful, merry Christmas, we are just planning on celebrating our Christmas a little later (jr. is due the 23rd of Dec.).
Speaking of holidays, they keep telling me that Thanksgiving is like, . . next week. Time has kind of been standing still for me, but I want to make sure that I don’t miss Thanksgiving. I really do have so much to be thankful for. I’m thankful for all the friends and family who have been here to support me during this rough time. I’m thankful for the wide-spread body of Christ who has been so caring and supportive. I’m thankful for the 7 and 1/2 WONDERFUL years that I had with my WONDERFUL husband. I’m thankful for the 7 beautiful children that he has blessed me with. I’m thankful for the millions of little ways the Lord has directed and shown me His hand of guidence. And I’m thankful for this strange device called the Internet that has made so much of this possible.
Keep praying for us. Our God is a big God, but our minds are little minds and it’s hard to comprehend and remember just how big our God really is. Pray that we don’t forget God’s love and the support of this body of believers.
Love in Christ,