• 25Aug
    Categories: Musings, Single Parenting Comments Off on The Lie of Inadequacy

    I was feeling a bit low this morning when I turned to Exodus for my devotional reading. I was sludging my way through the building of the tabernacle when I found an interesting verse.

    35:30-31 “And Moses said unto the children of Israel, See, the Lord hath called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah; And he hath filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship:”

    The first thing that caught my eye was Hur. Was this the same Hur that helped Aaron to hold up the arms of Moses? This is his grandson. It appears that he was passing on a Godly heritage.   And then I noticed Bezaleel. God gave him everything he needed for his job. And it was more than just the skills needed to turn out a perfect ring or stave, God also gave him the head and the heart for the job as well as the wisdom to do it according to God’s specifications.

    Then things get personal. God has given me everything I need to do my job, too. He’s given me the job, He’s given me the skills, and He’s given me the heart to do what He wants me to do exactly the way He wants it done.

    So, in reality, my feelings of inadequacy are Satan’s lies telling me that I can’t trust God. When I’m tired and don’t feel up to the task I must remember that God has given me everything I need and I must trust Him . . . trust Him . . . trust Him . . . It’s not me that will do it, but Him through me (if I let Him).

  • 01May
    Categories: Musings Comments: 2

    I’ve been musing about four leaf clovers lately.  Everything is turning green and the clover is everywhere.  As I flew by a patch on a walk the other day I was reminded of a friend of mine who says he finds four leaf clovers all the time.  It’s true.  I’ve seen him do it.  The next patch of clover made me wonder why I never find four leaf clovers.  Then I laughed to myself, “the reason you don’t find four leaf clovers is because you never look for them.”  That is also true and so this week I have found myself looking a little closer at the multitudes of patches of clover spread over my yard, along our road, around our garden, etc.  This morning I found one.  =)

    Which brings me to the punch line.  How often do we miss the mercies and miracles of God simply because we aren’t looking for them?  God is working in our lives on a regular basis (if we are letting Him), but how often have we ignored it?  It’s easy to see the bigger miracles like a disappearing cancerous cyst (which did happen to one of my family members this past week PTL), but did we notice the change in attitude of a stubborn child after a time of prayer, or the note of a friend arriving at just the right moment to give us the encouragement we need?

    I don’t believe in luck.  I believe in the hand of God, and I believe it is evident in my life on a daily basis even if I miss that little four leaf clover by my foot.

  • 21Feb
    Categories: Musings Comments Off on Hidden Joy

    I just passed a house that still has some Christmas decorations out.  Part of the reason for that could be the snow which is about 3 – 5 feet deep here (where it hasn’t drifted).  I smiled when I realized that the bits of brightly painted red and green signs that I could see represented the word JOY.

    I wonder if my Joy is hidden from the world, too.  I like to think that I’ve dug it out of the snow and hung Christmas lights all over it, but I probably need an outsider’s opinion on that.  I’m so very thankful that even when my Joy seemed gone-buried in sorrow-it really was still there, waiting for spring.

    The Joy of the Lord is my strength . . .

  • 17Jul
    Categories: Musings Comments Off on Dulling of the Senses

    Uncle Caleb showed up last night and we had a good chat.  He has joined the navy and we are all agog to hear about it.  But he made a comment that got me thinking.  He said that after a really hard workout he notices that his body is more sensitive to certain types of foods and so he prefers to steer clear of those foods all the time.  Not that those foods are necessarily bad or that he never eats them, but rather he notices a dulling of his senses when he indulges in them to frequently.  While musing on that statement and a few similarities in my life I got to thinking about my spiritual life.  During an extreme workout of the spiritual type, I, too, am aware of certain sensitivities.  There are certain things that I avoid during that time frame because I know that it will distract me and dull my senses.  Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m quite as wise as Uncle Caleb because I haven’t figured out that it would be better for me to avoid them on a daily basis.  Something else to work on, Lord, and of course, You know I can’t do it alone.  Thank You for continuing to draw me closer.

    “Stand in awe, and sin not: ”Psalm 4:4                “For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee.” Psalm 5:4

  • 04Jun
    Categories: Musings Comments: 1

    =) I had another dream.  I think it seems kind of silly to put much stock in dreams, but it was just a little bit of encouragement and I decided to hang on to it anyway.

    We had been separated (the hazy dream world sorta crammed 6 years into about 2 or 3 days) and my anticipation was mounting.  We were to meet in the auditorium and he had sent a short note that simply said, “I’ll find you.”  My excitement was such that of course I was ready early and I decided to go and wander around a bit.  The auditorium was packed and people were milling around everywhere.  It reminded me of college days before a church service.  I started at one side and meandered my way toward the other side constantly scanning the people around me, looking for friends, watching people interacting with each other, and hoping to see him.

    I was three quarters of the way to the other side when I heard my name called.  My heart jumped.  Several rows above me a group of friends waved me in their direction and then I saw him.  I didn’t recognize him.  He looked different.  He wasn’t Dan.  But the smile on his face, the recognition in his eyes, his speed as he headed in my direction, all pushed me toward him without hesitation.  We reached each other and he pulled me into a hug that I knew.  I knew those arms that surrounded and held me close.  I knew that heart that was beating in my ear.  I knew the tone of his voice as he whispered how much he missed me.  I knew what his response would be to my sarcastic comment of “Of course, it’s only been two days!” 

    Sigh.  I miss those hugs.

    But what I really want to grab on to is the fact that HE Is Looking.  God is looking for me.  God is looking for those I love.  The pressure and responsibility for me to lead my children to the Lord is not mine.  GOD is looking for my children, and I know He will find them.  I, of course, will do my best to love and direct them in the right direction, but ultimately the choice is up to them.

    And of course, there is the side note that maybe Mr. Right is looking for me, too.  =)

  • 06Feb
    Categories: Musings Comments: 4

    I’ve read that as a culture, we as parents worry more about our duties as parents than previous generations did.  Apparently (= if a child turned out different than they were trained it was assumed that it was the child’s decision and choice.  Today we worry about ruining our child’s self esteem, whether we have destroyed their confidence, or if some inadvertent comment is going to scar them for life.

    I’m wondering if we are constantly worried about our parenting skills, won’t our children pick up on that worry?  They might assume we don’t know what we are doing, making it much easier for them to claim control (depending on their personality) or to cower in fear from everything unsure of their training.

    God has not given us the power of fear but of love.  We are not to live in fear; we are to trust.  God is in control and our children must eventually make their own choices.  It doesn’t matter if you are a good parent or a rotten parent, God is bigger than all that.  If your fear controls you, then God does not.

  • 15Jan
    Categories: Musings Comments: 1

    “Anything we use to run from the situation God has us in is an act of discontentment and not counting our trial as joy.”

    “Children are not a burden to escape or endure; they are a blessing that drives us to Christ because we are incapable of parenting well without Him.”

    ~~Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman

  • 16Dec
    Categories: Musings Comments: 2

    It’s 8:15 and a little boy wanders into my room barely awake.  “Mamma, can I eat my lollipop?”  I chuckle at the enthusiasm that makes him think of it first thing when he wakes up and tell him he needs to eat his breakfast first.  “But Mommy, then I will be full.”

    “Honey, that lollipop is full of sugar and the only thing it is good for is rotting your teeth.  Fill up on breakfast and then you can eat the lollipop.”

    I’ve been burdened by our lollipop mentality lately.  We are so concerned with the sweets of this life that we forget to fill up on the good stuff.  We spend more time chasing rainbows than reading our devotions.  We choose to fill our minds with fantasy (books, movies, video games, etc) rather than with the Word of God.  The sweets of this life are only good for the moment of pleasure and then they rot your teeth.

    I don’t know about you, but I need more of the Bread of Life and less of the junk food that Satan is tempting us with on a daily basis.  Hmmm. . . sounds like a spiritual diet, just in time for the holidays.  =)


  • 24Nov
    Categories: Musings Comments: 2

    It is still dark and I’m driving west.  The dark thunderclouds before me are intimidating and I contemplate my future with trepidation, but then I notice something in my rearview mirror.  There is a dividing line in the sky behind me just hovering over the mountaintops.  A warm orange color is slowly spreading it’s way across the sky as dawn overtakes the darkness of night.  Gradually the thunderclouds in my future lose some of their angry look and I relax knowing that the storm is manageable.

    As dawn slowly lightens the sky I am amused to realize that many things in my life are like that.  How often have I panicked and allowed fear to swallow me as I look ahead at the things that I can’t control.  But when I pause to look at the way that God has provided for me in the past, remember the promises that He has already given me for the future, and look at the future through the rose colored glasses of God’s dawning light, then I can relax knowing that with God all things are possible.

  • 25Oct
    Categories: Musings Comments: 1

    I read a friend’s blog the other day and laughed and laughed.  She has always been able to make me smile and her writing skills draw me into her day and allow me to share in her laughter and fun.  I smiled as I put away my computer so that I could focus on the duties of the day and mused that maybe God had given her this special talent just so that a few privileged people could enjoy her humor and get a new perspective on things and maybe give them the encouragement they need to get through the day.

    Is it possible that God gives great talent just so we can minister to a few people?  And maybe it is the ‘world’ that pushes us to be popular, write the next best seller, minister to thousands, feed millions, and preach to every and any poor soul who has two ears.  Is it possible that I have a great talent that is only to be used for popularity with the 7 little dwarves that live under my roof, for writing sporadic tales of entertainment and morality only for my blog and my children, for ministry in my home and church, for feeding those aforementioned dwarves, and for teaching and preaching within the four walls of my house?

    God has often blessed families with a babe in the womb whose sole talent lay in the fact that they are able to make their mothers love them.  And then they are gone.  The great talent of creating love, in that situation, only touches a few, and yet God deems it important.

    And, if it is possible that God gives great talent to bless few people, can I be content with that?

    Actually, that’s a bit of a relief tonight.