I have been vainly looking for a ministry opportunity and then I had a thought.
I do have a ministry.
I have RememberingDan, I have my writing, I have piano playing at church, and of course, my kids. They don’t seem like ministries. That’s like . . . breathing. I just do them because I almost have to. Should our ministries be so much a part of who we are? Is my search for a ministry in reality a search for something else? Maybe worth or a sense of achievement . . . maybe stability or security . . . maybe a desire to be needed . . . maybe a commitment that will show me that I can be disciplined . . maybe attention or notice (I like to think I’m not that shallow, but I guess I’m still human and susceptible to their normal foibles) . . . maybe friendships or validation . . .
If this is true (that it’s actually a search for something else–it would be helpful to narrow it down to what it really is) then it would be more effective to apply the correct bandage directly over the wound.
I do need to remember that it is the Holy Spirit who is empowering me to do my ministries and if I try doing another ministry just to cover up another need in my life then the lack of the Holy Spirit will be noticeable and all I will reap will be exhaustion, frustrations, and more problems.
My effectiveness even in child-rearing is dependent upon the Holy Spirit, not on what I do or how perfectly I achieve my goals or even live my life. He is the one who is working in the lives of others. My impact is only of value if He chooses to use it, which I believe He will if I am working under His direction.