• 25Sep

    On a lighter note:

    Payden (3) said that the boys, Benjmain(9), and Josiah (8), had to come back from Grandma’s and help Grandpa build our shed ’cause Grandpa couldn’t do it without them.  =)

    Caleb (2) has decided that he is in school too, and he will stand at one of the school desks and scribble seriously on a piece of paper for quite some time before bringing it to me to score.  Once I put an OK on his page then he is content.  Silly boy.

    Maranatha (5) is halfway through her yellow book (Hooked on Phonics) for her Reading already(we started last year) and doing a great job.  I found her in the playroom with it teaching Payden (3) his letters.

    Dassy (6) thinks she doesn’t like cheese, but Mac and Cheese is her favorite meal.  The rule is “You are only allowed to Not Like ONE thing.”  She has changed her one thing to mushrooms.  Payden (3) has decided (as he eats his hot dog) that he doesn’t like meat!  He cracks me up!  I don’t think he even knows what ‘meat’ is!

    Abigail (7) has managed to overcome her fear and has learned how to ride a bicycle.  Dassy (6) took note and followed her example.  This past weekend Abigail came down a hill a bit too fast on her bicycle and now she has a couple of holes in her chin that might rival the Grand Canyon not to mention several other scrapes and bruises.  No pictures for her for a while.  =)  But she got back on her bike!!  I was so proud!

    Josiah (8) came to me today practically in tears.  He felt terrible about leaving me behind to go play with Uncle Andrew.  Oh sweetheart, thank you for wanting to take such good care of Mommy. 

    Benjamin (9) came to me with a concern about the amount of time he was spending on the computer.  After a discussion about how we should be in control and not let things control us I’ve noted a definite improvement.  He also is doing very well at controlling his candy and sweet intake.  I’ve seen him refuse a desert or treat!  Keep up the good work!

    Me (?) I’ve managed to clean up a couple of piles in my bedroom, got it vacuumed, and started my scrapbook of our trip to TN this summer.  This is a big deal since I think those piles in my bedroom have been there for at least a year maybe longer.  They were really starting to annoy me.  I was actually feeling pretty good about myself and what we’ve managed to accomplish in the last couple of weeks before this grief wave hit.  Good thing these don’t last long.

    As a family we have been working on “peace” as well as some control in our movie watching.  We made it through a whole month without watching a video and did well with limited time on computers.  We are still working on the peace issue. 

    Our pastor has been preaching on grace and I was reminded again today just how much grace God has given us.  So many things we didn’t deserve and He hasn’t quit giving yet.

    God is good. 

     

  • 25Sep

    I’ve been bowled over by a grief wave that I did not see coming.  In fact, I was three quarters of the way through it before I had any idea what was going on. 

    I’m hormonal and surely everyone knows it.

    I’m preparing for a trip to Dan’s homeland and he’s not going with me!  (Imagine that said with a wail

    (Calm again) I talked with someone today about the place where Dan and I met. (So many memories)  We chatted about people we both knew, we talked about places we had both been.  (Sigh) Ah, Dan, why aren’t you here to fill in the blanks? 

    I had a reminder that not everyone knows my story and apparently it’s still a bit painful at times to think back . . .

    I saw a visionary in action and oh the pain and longing that brings.  I had forgotten how much it hurts.

     

    I miss my visionary.

  • 24Sep

    I’ve lost my nanny.  She was done the end of June. Judy volunteered to help again for July and the first week or so of August, but since she headed off for college I’ve been trying to swing things on my own.  School started and I’ve asked a couple of older ladies to help throughout the week, an hour or two occupying the younger children, teaching the older ones how to clean or make lunches, or teaching a class here and there. 

    I find that I can handle the full weight of responsibility like this for about a month before I start feeling a little crazy and overwhelmed.  I can do all the cleaning, school work, laundry, gardening, cooking, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn’t leave me any time (that I’m not exhausted) for training and loving on my children.  Don’t get me wrong, the kids are a big help.  They have their chores and actually do most of the cleaning for me, but they still need someone to come after them every now and then and clean thoroughly.  We are working on that (in my spare time).

    I remember telling Dan that if we had one more kid we were going to need to hire a maid.  I think that might have been after Maranatha (almost 5).  We’ve had 2 since then.  So, today I am going to be meeting with someone to see about the possibility of hiring her as our cleaning lady.  Even with all the kid’s help it amazes me how much time I spend cleaning.

    Anyway, I guess I’m asking that you all would pray for wisdom, sanity, and discernment.  I want to make sure I hire the right person.  I need to be able to trust her with my children as well as my house.  I need the freedom of time.  I need peace of mind.  And I don’t want to usurp the Lord’s right to provide or create an attitude of laziness in me or my children.

    Thanks again, all, for listening and praying.  You are the best!!

  • 06Sep

    8/31/11

    Psa 85:10  Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

     Dan said this was our verse. 
    I was mercy, he was truth. 
    He was righteousness and I was peace. 
    And we did like kissing each other.  =)
    Today I look down a few more verses 
     
     Psa 85:11  Truth shall spring out of the earth; and righteousness shall look down from heaven.
    Psa 85:12  Yea, the LORD shall give that which is good; and our land shall yield her increase.
    Psa 85:13  Righteousness shall go before him; and shall set us in the way of his steps.
     

    “Righteousness shall look down from heaven” ?!?!?!?

    “Righteousness shall go before him and shall set us in the way of his steps.”  ?!?!?!? 

    Was he telling the future?

     Vs. 12 says “the Lord shall give that which is good;”  Once again I’m going to trust that He did give that which was and is good and will continue to do so.

  • 06Sep

    8/30/11

    “How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts!” Ps 84:1-2, “My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord: my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God.”

    I find my soul crying out more for leadership.  I long for a man who will step in and lead this strange family of mine.  Someone who is willing to accept and shoulder the man sized portion of burden that makes my shoulders ache (I slept on something wrong =).

    I don’t necessarily feel like I’m struggling with the responsibility at this point in time.  God has been doing just fine at taking care of us and giving me the option of a stress free life (if and when I’ll take it), but the longing is still there.

    Ps. 84:5 “Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; . .”  The longing in my heart is great, but with the strength of the Lord I will stay strong, pure, and patient.  Ha!  It will have to be your strength for sure, Lord, ‘cause I don’t got it.

    Ps. 84:11 “. . . no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.”  My kids are wondering why You are withholding the good thing of a Daddy.  I am assuming that at this point in time You have something better than good and that we just need to be patient and wait for it. 

    How often do I have a plan in mind that I am trying to work out that requires my kids patience and cooperation and their continual bugging and disobedience makes me throw up my hands in frustration and turn to plan B.  How often do I tell them “Trust Mommy.  You know she loves you and wants you to have fun.  Trust me, You will like this.  Patience, I’m trying to work something out here.  Giving you details just confuses the issue.  Trust me.”

    So, God, today (since this is a daily task) I am going to trust that You will not withhold anything good from me and my family.  I think that good would be a husband and father, but maybe You have something better in mind.

  • 06Sep

    8-20-11

    We found my ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                             

    Becky and Mom were at the campground yesterday husking corn and saw it lying on the ground!!  It’s the weirdest thing having it back on my finger.  Why did the Lord allow me to lose it in the first place?  Was I supposed to get used to the idea of not having one on?  Was I supposed to trust Him like Abraham did with Isaac?  It seems strange that He would have let me find it again.  It’s been missing since May . . that’s three months!  And it was just lying there on the ground . . .  Whatever the reasoning . . “Thank you, Lord!”

  • 06Sep

    Friends and faithful supporters made it possible for us to take a trip this summer.  We spent a week with them in TN at the Bill Rice Ranch, visited with my Pastor from my home church and his wife for a couple of days, and then we spent a day at the Creation Museum in KY.  It was a wonderful trip.

    We had a few interesting complications, but nothing that God didn’t handle for us.  Apparently I had bad bearings (or something like that) on my two front tires of the van and they were doing a number on my tires.  But Daniel noticed the problem and volunteered to rotate a couple of tires for me which took care of the problem till I could get home and get my mechanic to fix the issue.  I also ran into some trouble with my windshield wipers, but I was able to make those adjustments with only a minor inconvenience or two.  And gas was cheaper outside of PA so we were actually able to do the trip for a little bit less than I expected.

    I met someone interesting at camp that taught me a few things about the goodness of God and reminded me that God’s IS ABLE.  We enjoyed the chance to catch up with friends, meet their children, and make new friends.  We had time to play in the swimming pool and Judy was able to teach a couple of my kids to swim and most of the rest of them to not be quite so afraid of water (that was actually an ongoing summer project that Judy handled beautifully).  And we got family pictures that I currently have spread over my bedroom floor trying to decide who they go to and if they will fit into our Christmas cards (which means that I need to get working on Christmas cards-takes me a couple of months to do a project like that).

    Judy (a cousin from MI), was actually the second major blessing that made this whole trip possible.  Paul and Sharon provided the resources/place to stay, but Judy made it possible for us to go.  My children like to travel and they handled the trip very well, but it would have been a lot more stressful for me without that second pair of hands that allowed us to spread out and divide up the children as needed.  Thanks for sharing part of your summer with us again, Judy!!

    There were several others who made the trip possible and enjoyable and I would like to list all their names, but for privacy’s sake I think I will refrain.  So instead I will just say a great big THANK YOU to you all, you know who you are, and God knows who you are.

    Oh, and since we were taking the trip, somewhere in the part of my brain labeled insanity, I decided it would be great if I could get my “house” scrapbook finished and take it along.  It was great incentive to get that scrapbook done and out of the way, but I definitely should have started it WAY sooner.  We got it done, but I was definitely not handling the pressure very well.  Many thanks to all who pitched in on that particular project.  On to the next one.  =)

    And one more plug, if you haven’t been to the Creation Museum I would definitely recommend it.  Thanks to all my kids who have been saving for quite a few years for that particular visit.  We will have to do it again when you all are a bit older.  It was fun!

  • 06Sep
    Categories: Musings Comments: 1

    7/18/11

    I’m watching the sun rise this morning with my cup of cappuccino and my computer and my God. There has been a lot of stress put on Bible reading as part of my devotions in my life and I’ve struggled with that. It’s hard to be awake enough to read the Bible first thing in the morning. Some days I don’t have the time because some kid or other is in my bed or I wake up after they are all up and moving and things just start rolling before I even have a chance to regroup. But I discovered something this morning. Prayer is an essential part of devotions too. This has slowly been working it’s way into my consciousness lately, but I’ve been having a hard time accepting it. Prayer is not quantifiable. But it’s prayer that gets the heart and mind ready to hear and absorb the scriptures. Prayer is definitely a part of my life, but it doesn’t get near the attention it should. I think, “I know God is majestic. He knows He’s awesome. Why do I have to put it in words?” But then why do I have to write a book? Basically I’m just trying to put my life into words (or someone’s life). By putting it in to words I’m validating my existence. By praying I’m am validating God’s presence . . in my life as well as His. Gotta run.

  • 06Sep

    6/9/11

    I look out my bedroom window and down into the valley.  I have a marvelous view, but it doesn’t seem right somehow.  It seems narrow and pieces are missing.

    Then I travel down a floor and the length of my house and pause to look out the dining room window.  That’s better.  That’s more the view that I expect.  There is a broad overlook of more of the valley.  I can see more houses and more roads.  But even here my vision is hampered by trees and I am looking out across the valley more than I am looking down on it. 

    My perspective has changed.  But even though my perspective has changed I still can’t see the whole picture.  Reminds me of life.  Something happens in our life and in the whiplash of emotions surrounding us we see a very narrow picture.  Sometimes we struggle to reach out and wipe away the trees that hide the view from our eyes.  We question what God is doing and yet we know in our hearts that He has a plan.  And then something changes, maybe we accept God’s will in our life, maybe our position changes, or our hearts calm and we are ready to face the days challenges.  That is when our view changes as well.  Our vision is less obscured and we can see a larger picture that satisfies us, or at least comforts us with the familiar.  But in reality we still can’t see the whole.  Only God can fill in all the missing pieces.  But in the mean time we need to be content with what we can see and continue to do our daily tasks with the joy of the Lord and the peace of God that passes all understanding.

    God is faithful.  His plans do not change just because we cannot see.  Our job is to continue on.

  • 06Sep

    We have had a series of technical problems that my ever faithful computer guru has been working on whenever he can get the chance. And once again he has succeeded!! Thank you Michael!

    Now it is my task to try to update a bit.  I have been writing occasionally and I will try to pick out a few and hopefully not inundate your mail boxes.  Thanks for you continued prayers and support.  God has been good!!!