• 15Mar

    My Pappy died on Friday, and we are grieving again.

    It’s different this time.  There are the obvious differences like he was a Grandpa and not a husband.  He wasn’t my provider or support.  He wasn’t the father of my children.  And the list could go on, but I’m talking about something different.  I’m different.

    I hesitate to say that I am comfortable with grieving.  Maybe a better word to use would be “familiar.”  I’m familiar with the process, the pain, the mind numbing ache that fills you, the depression, and the tears.  I know where certain emotions are headed.  I know what I need to look out for.  I know little tricks to get me through difficult situations.  I know what to expect from those that surround me.

    But I am reminded as I watch Grandma grieve, that everyone grieves differently and that no matter how much I know, I still can’t do the grieving for her.  My knowledge and experience almost feels useless.

    And yet in a strange way I feel confident.  If I can make it through losing Dan, then I can make it through this.  I have no doubts that the Lord will once again prove Himself powerful and loving.

    He is faithful,

    He is good.

    In His time,

    All is understood.

     

    I simply trust,

    And hold on tight.

    He will protect,

    All through the night.

     

    I cling to His love,

    And rest in His care.

    He has promised,

    He will always be there.

     

    Jesus, Lover,

    Faithful Friend,

    Provider, Protector,

    On You I depend.

8 Comments to Grieving Again

  • I’m sorry! I’m sure Grandma will appreciate every hug you give her!
    Is the poem yours?

  • I learned from a dear friend some good lessons about grief. They taught me that it is best to let it all out in its full intensity until the sorrow is relieved and then to remember the sweet memories in all their fulness. Although my grief was deep and there were times that I again felt sorrow, but the deep pain was not there. I don’t know how it works really, just that I have never before been able to move on the way they did, and they showed me how. Their culture allows loud wailing if needed and all non-violent expressions of grief and that seems to be a part of the healing. Being a good Canadian I had always held back on that part and it seemed to keep me captive longer. Some losses we grieve longer and harder, but the healing will come to completion with God’s love filling all the empty places. We will be praying as you once again grieve the loss of someone you and your children loved.

  • Thank you for sharing! We continue to pray for you and the children and grandma. I agree with you that ever grief since Jim’s death is different because I am different. Thank you for putting into words what I have felt within.
    Many hugs and prayers!!

  • So sorry to hear that your much loved “Papa” has passed away. But he is with the Lord … and safe. Those loved ones left behind have to adjust to change.

    And in that “change” the Lord will help each one who looks to Him — even you.

    Your children will miss him, too. If they can realize he has gone to heaven maybe that will help them to understand. Some day they will go to meet him there.

    Love and prayers, Gramma Ewing.