I don’t know if you realize just how therapeutic writing is for me. Writing helps me organize my thoughts, come up with solutions to problems, and voice the panic that threatens to overwhelm me. I haven’t been able to make much time for writing lately and I’m noticing a rising hysteria in my spirit. Christmas swallowed up a lot of time in December. The kids were sick, parties, plays, traditions, gifts, all required time. I don’t think we overdid it, but then again if I didn’t get the quiet time I needed maybe we did. From there we headed off for a trip to MI to visit the in-laws and had a wonderful time reconnecting with cousins, playing in the snow, and catching up, but once again quiet time was minimal (not surprising with 17 kids around). Then my nanny headed off to Honduras for some family vacation time for a couple of weeks and we had to survive on our own for a while. That definitely does not permit free time. I keep trying to tell myself that I can do this on my own. I really don’t need all this help. God will provide. Then I get two weeks to do it on my own and I’m ready to throw up my hands and say “I give, Lord! No man is an island! You already provided. Please give me my help back!!”
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’m wondering if it’s time for a “sabbatical” of sorts. Maybe I need to find a quiet place to get away for a couple of days, with no responsibilities, no demands on my time, no pressure to get something done, and reconnect with my Lord, spend hours writing and praying, and revitalize my body and spirit. I do think I need it. I’m just not sure how to justify it. I don’t know of any other mothers who tell their husbands they are disappearing for the weekend to refresh themselves. Maybe they should?
I know I’ve talked about doing this before, but I’ve just never convinced myself that I should. Maybe if I did better at this connecting with my Lord on a daily basis I wouldn’t feel quite the need for such a recharge. Maybe I’m just over exaggerating.