• 14Feb

    Thank you all for the encouragement.  I’m still hoping for the chance to get away, but two of my girls got sick this week and this flu bug seems to have a longer recovery time.  I’m holding my breath and hoping that no one else gets it.

    One of the reasons this bothers me (I think) is because I feel a bit guilty for having a nanny.  I know several women who have lots of children (some more than me) and their husband works, so it’s not like he’s home during the day to help.  And he’s tired when he gets home, so it’s not like he can help a whole lot then either.  But me, I have someone working for Me, helping Me with the household work and the kids.  If I still had Dan I would be working for Him, plus the household chores and tending kids.  Why can’t I handle this?

    Then again, why do I feel the need to be supermom?  Why do I feel guilty?  It’s a pressure I think I must put on myself, because I don’t know of anyone who has made any negative comments.  Curious people have asked why I hired a nanny, but no one was being malicious or patronizing.

    If I can just get to the root . . . then I could hack away at the untruths and get some peace about this.

    So, any ideas where to go?  Little cold this time of year for camping.  =)

4 Comments to Feeling Guilty

  • Liisa, you are doing an amazing job!! Having help is truly a godsend. I am encouraged by all you have done and are doing to stay in the hands of Jesus and I am truly blessed by your testimony. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing what you have gone through and are going through. I am blessed by you.

  • Let me encourage you with the fact that we all have help from someone. I am a mom of two adopted kids with Fetal Alcohol and that is no joke, but although I do home school, keep the house, cook the meals, do the washing, and well all the other things that only a mom knows that we ladies do every day, and some work as well; it is the knowing that at the end of the day there is someone there to talk to or snuggle with or to just have in the house as a moral support that gets us through each day hopefully with a smile still on our faces. You have that someone too, but in the form of a nanny. That is your support, even though maybe different than you would have thought. So give yourself permission to enjoy the support God is providing and enjoy the rest.

    Oh, and as to the taking a break, I have been told to quit trying to be super-mom and take a break too. So if I have to be a “good little girl” and take a break then so do you. lol

    There is a saying that used to be heard a lot and it goes like this, “It only takes two to make a child, but it takes a whole village to raise one.”

    Enjoy your village and no more guilt. This from the master of guilt.

    Love you lots, you all are in our prayers.

  • Oh Liisa, don’t feel guilty. If I were in your shoes I would need extra help, too. I could use it now, sometimes. Trying to accomplish everything is very hard and taxing even when Jeff comes home in the evening, even with the things that the kids can help out with and even when I am trying to trust God to help me just get the basics accomplished.

    Maybe someone you know has a cabin or cottage that they would be willing to let you use.

  • Why can’t we do it all?? Oh, that’s right, God made us as dependant not independant beings. We need Him and we need others. Remember even the Lord had to have human help to carry His cross….

    Also remember it won’t always be like this. Your little ones are growing and it will get easier as they grow and become more helpful.

    And you are doing more as a single mom. You are carrying many jobs and burdens your husband would carry or shoulder with you. There is simply more physically, mentally, and spiritually on you as a single mom. That takes it toll.

    Don’t try to be super mom; just ask God to help you be the mom your children need you to be. Then listen to what He says is most important and be willing to let him weed or low your expectations.

    I will continue to be praying for you, Liisa. It is good to hear you sharing so we know how more specific to pray. Keep writing, praying, and reading His Word…there is light at the end of this tunnel.