• 04Nov

    A note Benjamin (8) wrote last night   (ps: his teacher is still working with him on his spelling) :

    I love you God and i hope you are halping Daddy.
    and i want you to get us a new Daddy and i dont want hem
    not to do wath we wated.


    I love you God and I hope you are helping Daddy.
    And I want you to get us a new Daddy and I don’t want him to do the things we didn’t want him to do (eg. smoke, drink, drugs, beard, fat . . . )


    after countless hugs and demonstrations of ‘clingyness’ I pulled him into my lap and asked him what he was looking for, and gave him examples: are you looking for attention, your shoes, a new daddy, a hug . . .

    His reply: 

    I’m looking for love.


    Sigh.  I can’t give it to him, or at least not enough. 

    And I warned him tonight that a new daddy won’t be able to fill that hole either.  Only Jesus can fill that hole.  It is obvious to us as a family, due to our circumstances, that there is a hole (I believe everyone has a hole, it just might not be as noticeable) and I realize a little bit more each day that we will never be complete until we reach heaven.

    Lord Jesus, come quickly.

3 Comments to Looking for Love

  • Oh, girl! That is so right….only when we get to heaven will that hole be filled.
    Praying for your children, esp. Benjamin. He sounds like my middle son. Dealing with my own emotions is hard enough; helping the children with theirs can be worse at times. It hurts a momma so much to see her children hurt and not be able to fix it. Praying for us both to keep clinging to Jesus and keep pointing our children to Him. HUGS

  • Yes, I’ve been there, too. My youngest was 4 when Daddy went to heaven. And that little tyke is now a man — all 180 pounds of him. AND he and his lovely wife are coming to visit the middle of this month. He is celebrating his 50th birthday by coming to visit his ‘roots’. They will spend some time in Edmonton, Rosa’s home area, and then come to Three Hills for a few days before going on to Calgary.
    Rosa is celebrating her 50th birthday also. They have two daughters, both married, but no children yet.

    Take hope. Your grief hasn’t happened without our Father knowing…and He has a purpose in it all. Our finite minds cannot understand, but God knows!!!!

    Love to all, Gram E.