I was faced with the question again today, “Single? Married? Divorced?”
I had just sat down to fill out some paperwork at the dentist office today and I felt a wave hit me. “Oh Benjamin (7)” I whispered and sucked in a breath. He was immersed in a book and didn’t even look up. I forced myself to focus on the papers before me and was doing alright until I hit that question. Then the tears let loose. I could feel them making silent tracks down my face and I was glad that we were the only ones in the waiting room.
What do I say to a question like that? No, I’m not divorced, although he did leave me. How can I make the claim that I’m married when there is no one here to be married to? And Single!!! How can anyone be single with seven children?! It’s just not natural.
I skipped the question and finished filling out the rest of the form. Then I sat there and stared at the paper and deliberated.
- Defiance reared it’s head and tempted me to just mark “Married”; I could just pretend that he’ll be back someday.
- Lately I’ve been feeling just how “Single” I am, but today I just couldn’t quite face that. Besides, what kind of a woman is single (and not divorced) with seven children? Makes me sound like a total floozy!!
- Finally I just added another category, “Widowed”.
They can translate that however they want.