• 09Jun
    Categories: Grieving Comments: 9

    I was faced with the question again today,  “Single? Married? Divorced?”

    I had just sat down to fill out some paperwork at the dentist office today and I felt a wave hit me.  “Oh Benjamin (7)” I whispered and sucked in a breath.  He was immersed in a book and didn’t even look up.  I forced myself to focus on the papers before me and was doing alright until I hit that question.  Then the tears let loose.  I could feel them making silent tracks down my face and I was glad that we were the only ones in the waiting room.

    What do I say to a question like that?  No, I’m not divorced, although he did leave me.  How can I make the claim that I’m married when there is no one here to be married to?  And Single!!!  How can anyone be single with seven children?!  It’s just not natural.

    I skipped the question and finished filling out the rest of the form.  Then I sat there and stared at the paper and deliberated. 

    • Defiance reared it’s head and tempted me to just mark “Married”; I could just pretend that he’ll be back someday. 
    • Lately I’ve been feeling just how “Single” I am, but today I just couldn’t quite face that.  Besides, what kind of a woman is single (and not divorced) with seven children?  Makes me sound like a total floozy!! 
    • Finally I just added another category, “Widowed”. 

    They can translate that however they want.