I had a moment of panic today that made me rethink my jealousy of Dan. I looked at the kids running around me, the runny noses, the diaper that needs changed, the fact that they are always hungry (when there isn’t real food to eat), the obvious desire for attention, and noted the loneliness that comes when there is only one adult in the house and I realized something. Those kids have no one else.
I can’t do the heaven thing yet!! These kids need me! The idea of putting them into someone else’s care makes my heart ache. At least Dan had the comfort of knowing they still had me. I know my kids would be well loved and cared for if something happened to me, but kids NEED their parents.
This is where I’m needed and where God wants me. Who am I to complain?
So maybe I’ve gotten through another part of the grieving process? The anger and jealousy . . .