What a day.
From the highs of getting some social activity this morning with other adults, to the lows of cleaning my kitchen and realizing a new that this holiday is a family holiday and my family is missing (I know, the kids are my family, too), to the calmness of an evening spent relaxing with the kids (strangely, it really was calm–relatively speaking to the rest of you I’m sure), I feel like I’ve run the gamut of emotions today.
My brother had a Christmas party at his school today and we were invited. It took a while to get everyone out of the house, but we made it. Then I did a lot of running around helping set up tables, get the meal ready, etc, but that is what I like to do. We ate, we played, we talked . . real adult talk! It was great.
Then we went home and Dassy (4), Maranatha (3), and Payden (2) all took naps. Unusual for Dassy, but very much needed today. Caleb (1) unfortunately, napped on the way home so he didn’t really want to go back to bed. However, he was in bed for the night by 6! I hope he’s not up too early tomorrow!
I tried to get a bit of a nap, but it didn’t work real well. Sometimes that just makes me grouchier than if I hadn’t bothered at all, but I managed to pull through today. Instead Depression smacked me full in the face and wrapped itself around my head. I tried my usual thought process. “Your tired. Hormones are acting up. You’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“Wahhhhh! No I won’t! Nothing will have changed tomorrow. Dan will still be gone. I will still be trying to fill in the holes in this impossible situation. I’m grieving! For heaven’s sake, Liisa! Let it out!”
So I cried.
And then I went and joined the kids who were sliding down the stairs on a mattress.
Then with my kitchen clean (a big help in the relaxation factor), Caleb in bed, and some of the kid’s excess energy burned off with the party this morning and the mattress sliding this afternoon, we had a nice “quiet” evening. The older ones played some card games at the kitchen table, the younger ones colored in the playroom with me while I worked on my latest project.
So, now I’m exhausted and ready for bed . . .
Another day in the life of the Ewings. =)