It’s midnight again and I am waging a war. Rage and frustration, grouchiness and loneliness, depression and grief are all roiling around, bubbling over, and spitting out a sticky black goo that melts into and absorbs everything it touches.
Some would say that I am an innocent. How can I not be with my simplistic view that I can be happy and trust my God to handle and direct my life in a loving manner?
I object. I don’t have to be exposed to all the dirty little secrets this world holds to know that the life we are living is less than perfect. I am being faced with it again and again, day after day, as I try to come to grips with the fact that my “perfect” life has been shattered by the filthiness of sin and corruption. I had a taste of what God intended in the Garden of Eden and like Adam and Eve I feel as if I have been thrust out of a place of beauty where everything makes sense, into a dreary world of loneliness and confusion.