I went to bed at 10 pm. Turned the lights out and everything. And here I sit (12 am), playing with my computer.
I just can’t seem to sleep — my brain is whirling. A multitude of strange little thoughts keep popping into my head. I twist and turn and finally give up. I haven’t been keeping up with my internet contacts . . . maybe I’ll check them out. I do have work I could be doing . . at midnight?!!
The holidays are looming. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it or not. I’ve had two weekends in a row without kids and I told my boys they aren’t allowed to do that again for at least a month. I managed just fine while they were gone, but I’m not sure I would be able to handle that again any time soon without succumbing to the depression that keeps knocking at my door.
Faced down another tough situation the other day. Dan would have been proud of me. He liked to prod me out of my comfort zone and push me to accomplish more. Well, I’ve definitely been out of my comfort zone, but I miss the loving support (from Dan — I seem to be getting lots of it from friends and family, Thank you Very Much!) that was always there to catch me if I ever needed it.
Going to try to make some Christmas cookies with the kids tomorrow. I was trying to get some extra sleep to help prepare myself for the ordeal (pleasant ordeal, but still draining). I think I’ll go try again.