You and your best friend (the one you would trust with your life) are hanging out. A climax has been reached and your friend must make a decision. He says “Trust me”, and then proceeds to take the route that hurts you the most. You look at him slack-jawed, shocked that he would betray you so. Even though there are others around, the pain of the moment is so intense that you can feel the tears sliding down your cheeks. You trusted him, . . and now he does this?! You cry for understanding, but he just shakes his head sadly and continues on his chosen path. The anger bubbles and you shout at him to come back and explain himself, he doesn’t respond, and then fear overrides and you crumple to the ground, the pain overwhelming your senses. You shut some doors, creating a place to hide where you can go over the options. Maybe if I had done . . . Maybe I wasn’t good enough in this area . . . Was I too . . .? The “what if’s” are too devastating and you shove them all away.
Your friend knocks at those doors and wants to hang out like normal. “Why haven’t you called?” he says. Want to come to my house?
As humans we have been programmed to protect ourselves instinctively; something is thrown our way and we dodge, dirt gets in our eye and we blink, we get too close to the fire and we flinch. We get hurt and instinct says let’s not do that again. God made us that way, and yet He demands that we overcome that instinct. A sibling says nasty things and we must forgive. A spouse betrays the marriage vows and we must remain faithful. God inflicts pain and we must thank Him for His love.
I don’t want to talk to God right at the moment.
He nods, knowing the pain I feel and just sits down next to me to wait. He is patient.