• 30Nov
    Categories: Grieving Comments: 6

    I visited the pages of some friends to get some inspiration for this blog, but find I am still a bit in the dark about what to write.  I don’t have to write, but my last blog got some of my faithful prayer warriors a bit worried and I just need to let them know that I’m o.k.

    I am o.k.  I had an extremely grouchy day piled high with the emotions of a holiday without Dan and without the shock that helped to numb everything during the last holiday season.  It was a rough day although my mom seems to think I hid it well.  But after venting a bit on my blog I was able to sleep and woke quite refreshed and cheerful.

    I got a little quieter when we pulled out the Christmas decorations and lights and put up a tree for the kids (they decorated and I’m trying hard to let it alone . . . =).  But then Sunday night we turned all the lights off, turned the Christmas lights on, turned the music up, and bounced and danced around all over the playroom and made quite the ruckus (not to mention quite the mess).  In the midst of all the fun a song came on that said “I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance.”   And I found myself strangely grateful for my situation.  I could have missed the pain of losing Dan, but then I would have missed the joy of knowing Dan, not to mention the joy of ALL SEVEN of my children.  I hope that somehow I can convey to them their importance in the grand scheme of things.

    It hurts, but I have no regrets.

6 Comments to I’m O.K.

  • That’s my girl! Keep looking up. Keep trusting HIM. “YOU know better than I, YOU know the way. I will let go of my need to know why, for YOU know better than I.” Joseph looked up even in the prison for doing right, even after losing his WHOLE family…. He trusted God. Can we do less? Love you!

  • I am glad you didn’t miss the dance. And I am glad you have 7 beautiful angels to prove it. We love you.

  • When Troy was put on Dialaysis I heard this song “God will make this trial a Blessing” I went to the Christian Book Store and had them order it. It is a accompliment CD and I sing it at church and it does not matter what you are going thru he will not send more your way than you can handle and you will never have to go it alone, and he will have a blessing for you also! When your down just look up!