Did you know that inanimate objects can speak?
I had a conversation with my conditioner bottle the other day. Ha! You think I’m crazy! =) You might be right. Anyway, let me share it with you, modified slightly to make it more enjoyable to read.
I was cleaning up and “grieving” (or so I told myself), when out of the blue, my conditioner bottle jumps at me from behind and gives me a good thwack, not to mention a good scare.
I mean wouldn’t you be scared if things you thought were inanimate, starting jumping at you!?
I flinched (‘almost left the ground’ kind of flinch) and was about to go back to my “woe is me’s”
(like: Whoever came up with the extra large bottles of shampoo and conditioner was brilliant, but couldn’t they have gotten together with the dudes that make the tubs and made a spot to put them as well? They tempt you with the “buy more, spend less” philosophy and then make you regret it enough that you never want to do that again),
But I got interrupted.
Conditioner: Just what is God trying to say here?!
Me: You’re asking me? You’re a bottle of soap! Don’t tell me you question what God’s will is for your life?! Let me alone. I’m grieving here.
Conditioner: Yeah, right. How about having yourself a big ole’ pity party.
Me: Hey! I have a reason to feel sorry for myself.
Conditioner: So? How many friends do people have who feel sorry for themselves? Do you want to be in the friendless category? They can only handle it for so long and what about the kids?
Me: (Grumble, grumble) Why does it always come back to the kids?
Conditioner: Maybe because that is where YOU feel like YOU are slacking?
Me: Does that mean that I’m nagging at myself? Oh, never mind. I’m going to bed.
Conditioner: That would be a good place to start. I know how much sleep you’ve been getting and it’s not near enough.
Me: How would you know how much. . . . ? You know, never mind. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation in the first place. Reminds me of Baalam’s donkey, and I’m starting to feel like a donkey.
So anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to have friends, therefore it’s time to get some sleep, stop feeling sorry for myself and get back out there and live my life like I’m enjoying it. And I’ve also learned to be careful what kind of conditioner I buy. You never know what kind of an impact it will have on your life. =)