I’ve noticed myself reacting to the kids lately, in much the same way I watched Dan react to them. I don’t know if it’s just part of the “rubbing off on each other” kind of thing (I’m doubting that one), or if I’m unconsciously trying to take Dan’s place. Logically I know that’s impossible and that I shouldn’t even try, but I ache so for their loss.
Thinking again about how I had to tell the kids about Dan’s death almost drove me to my knees again today (good place to be, really). It was just all so sudden. He was here. He was fine. He was healthy. And POW! He was gone. I feel like we didn’t get to say goodbye properly (the memorial services were such a blur) and closure is missing somehow. Maybe putting his ashes in our “Danny Garden” will help.