• 07Aug
    Categories: Grieving Comments: 3

    The computer, my clothes, my cup, the way the cheese melts on my pizza . . . it all seems to be reminding me today of the life we once had.  I’m trying to get ready for school and I cry, wondering who is going to help me.  Who do I go to to talk things over and get his opinion?  Who will relieve me from some of the pressures after a long day so that I can take a minute to pull myself together?  Who will fix this stupid computer when it gives me fits?  Who will tell me there has got to be a better way?  Who will give reinforcement?  Who will tell me I am doing a good job (and I will think it’s high praise coming from him)?  Why do I even bother when there is no one there to gloat over my achievements and brag about his kids?  Will his kids feel the same way? Who will sign the report cards?  I did so much for him, with him in mind, . . . is that wrong? 

    Someone commented on the way we did something the other day and the only reason I could come up with for doing it that way was because that’s the way Dan liked it.  That just doesn’t seem to be good enough anymore. 

    And if that’s not good enough then what is?

3 Comments to Because of Dan?

  • Dear. dear Liisa, You are hurting so much! What can I say to bring you comfort and hope. Yes, Dan was a good encourager — a good helper, but that physical arm isn’t there just now, and you wonder.
    But Jesus is there! Drop into His arms and spill out your problems. He WILL give you help in the midst of anguish. I will for that for you!!
    Much love, Gramma Ewing.

  • Sweet Liisa, Grandma is right and who better to encourage you. Having faced the same trial with almost the same head count. If you like the way Danny did things and you don’t feel something would work better for you than that is a good enough answer. If you wish to change things that is ok too. Just change things because you wish it and not someone else who has all the answers for you life without having walked in your shoes. Listen to what others say, thank them for their input, and then seek God as to if you should change things or not He is the only one who gets to boss you now. But remember that He does use those older and wiser to help guide us, yet leaves the choice to us. You are doing a great job and if Dan cannot say it others will, but mostly God will. You are a great Mom and should be encouraged you have wonderful children who are learning to love and obey God.

    Our prayers are with you.

  • I so hurt for you my friend. I do not think it is a wrong thing…that you lived to please Dan…you made choices according to what he preferred. That is how we are supposed to live as a wife. How painful for you….I have no opinions, or advice, just some empathy. I too, strive to live in a way that pleases the Lord of course, but as a wife, in a way that my husband prefers….I have no idea the pain I would be feeling, had Kevin been taken. I’m so sorry for your pain. Know that you are loved by many…although I’m sure at times, it does not seem like enough, when you are missing the one who was your life.