The computer, my clothes, my cup, the way the cheese melts on my pizza . . . it all seems to be reminding me today of the life we once had. I’m trying to get ready for school and I cry, wondering who is going to help me. Who do I go to to talk things over and get his opinion? Who will relieve me from some of the pressures after a long day so that I can take a minute to pull myself together? Who will fix this stupid computer when it gives me fits? Who will tell me there has got to be a better way? Who will give reinforcement? Who will tell me I am doing a good job (and I will think it’s high praise coming from him)? Why do I even bother when there is no one there to gloat over my achievements and brag about his kids? Will his kids feel the same way? Who will sign the report cards? I did so much for him, with him in mind, . . . is that wrong?
Someone commented on the way we did something the other day and the only reason I could come up with for doing it that way was because that’s the way Dan liked it. That just doesn’t seem to be good enough anymore.
And if that’s not good enough then what is?