I’ve been playing with some thoughts here lately about the grief process. I think that if someone asked me how to describe the grief process with one word I would have to use the word “Confusion”. So much of what I am dealing with seems to be confusion. I’m confused about my new role in my family, confused about what I need to be sharing with the kids, confused about whether or not I want someone to hug me, confused about my purpose in life, . . and the list goes on.
That really bothers me. If God is not “the author of confusion”, but He is in control of my life, then why am I in such a state of chaos? More digging takes me back to the Garden of Eden before there was sin. Life was perfect, God had created a structured environment without confusion. But then sin entered the picture and brought confusion along with it. God isn’t the reason that Dan died, sin is, and the confusion and grief that goes with that is a result of sin.
Pain was given as a defense mechanism by God, but that is physical pain, not emotional.
So once again I decide to trust the Lord and allow Him to work His will in my life. That’s good, because I’m going to need Him tomorrow.