• 27Jun
    Categories: Grieving Comments: 2

    June 22

    I cringe at the thought of “finding myself” again.  I don’t like the terminology.  It makes it sound like I was lost.  I wasn’t lost.  I had/have a very strong sense of who I was/am as a person.  Being married to Dan didn’t make me any less Liisa, despite what others may think.  I guess the correct terminology would be that I am “re-evaluating my role”.  I’m no longer just wife and mother.  Now I am called upon to play the role of father and mother and still try to teach my kids about being a wife and/or a husband, too.  (It would be easier to just show them.)  That’s depressing. 

    I do feel like I’ve lost a part of myself somewhere, though.  Living this close to my parents, in a house that Dan has never been in, going to the same church I grew up in, and visiting with friends I knew in school . . . in some ways I feel like I’ve reverted.  Don’t get me wrong, I liked who I was as a young adult, but being married brought a fullness to my life that I didn’t have as a single adult.  I miss that.