Remembering Dan

• Soon!!

  11Jun
  Categories: Family Updates Comments: 3

  The inspector comes tomorrow!!  We are hoping and praying that he will give us a temporary permit that will allow the kids and I to live in the house while we finish. 

  The sewer bed is operational and a toilet was installed this evening.  I loaded the dishwasher, wanting to test the water flow, and then realized that I didn’t have any dishwasher soap.  I thought about starting some laundry, but we don’t have a water softener yet and I could end up with some strange colored clothes if I’m not careful.  I also don’t have my clothes line up yet (the dryer is operational) and there are flood warnings out anyway since we’ve been getting so much rain and there is more coming tonight and tomorrow.  So while I could easily live in the house (working bathroom and kitchen), there are still a few more things that need finished.  We are still taking pictures, I just haven’t had a chance to post them.  You might just have to come to our open house if you really want to see them.  =)

  My sister’s are having a yardsale this weekend, so I’ve been spending the last couple of days sorting and organizing tons of clothes.  Glenda (nanny) has been a tremendous help as she has unpacked and cleaned most of the kitchen, tended the kids, helped with sorting clothes, made meals, changed diapers, moved boxes, etc.  Just having her available has given me the ability to concentrate more fully on the many tasks I have to accomplish, has allowed me the chance and the space to grieve, and has relieved me of a tremendous load of work.  I don’t think I could have made it this far without her.  THANK YOU, GLENDA!!

• Benjamin’s Birthday

  11Jun
  Categories: Family Updates, Single Parenting Comments: 2

  June 10

  Another Birthday this week.  Benjamin turned 7 on Wednesday.  My, how time flies!  How in the world did I get to be the mother of a seven year old?!  That is a rhetorical question, Wayne.  I was sorting through clothes today (and yesterday) and got to remembering some of my college days (my wardrobe hasn’t changed much since then).  It really doesn’t seem that long ago.

  Anyway, I think he enjoyed himself.  I took him shopping (so he could spend some of his birthday money) and he made some comment and I replied, “Oh, I guess since you are a boy a shopping trip probably isn’t real high on your list of things to do for your birthday.”  He thought about that a minute and then he said, “Mommy, what DO boys like to do?”

  I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.  I’m a girl!  How am I supposed to know?  It’s amazing how much of an identity children get from their parents.  I would have thought that he would have figured out “boy” things from his Dad by now, but maybe he’s just starting to realize there is a world outside of himself and since Dan hasn’t been here . . . . 

  I knew that whatever I said could possibly be used against me in the future.  If I told him that boys liked skydiving, digging for worms, fishing, taking mud baths, riding motorcycles or some such things, then I might end up impaling goey worms on sharp little fishing hooks, riding at excess speeds with little or no protection, or heaven forbid, losing all sense of sanity and jumping out of a perfectly good airplane myself.

  Just how does one answer a question like that anyway?!  I’ll take the, “Mommy, why is the sky blue?” kind of question any day.  =)

• Alarm Clock

  11Jun
  Categories: Grieving, Remembering Dan Comments: 3

  I found our alarm clock today.

  How I wish we had forgotten to set it.  Or maybe we could have had the volume turned so low that we wouldn’t have heard it.  Or even more typical, maybe Dan could have just shut it off in his sleep and neither of us would have woken up till 8.

  If I had it to do all over again . . . sigh.  I probably would do the same thing, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I could have that moment to relive again.  I could hit that snooze, cuddle up close, my head on his arm, feeling the warmth of his chest against my back, his arm warm across my stomach, listen to his even breathing telling me that he probably hadn’t even heard the alarm clock, feel his body curl around me just a little bit tighter as I settle back into him . . .  

  I have my memories.  Now if I could just funnel that longing into a longing for my Lord and Saviour . . .