It has been a rough week for me emotionally. I have been struggling with an emptiness, a vagueness that makes it difficult to understand life as a whole. I’ve spent the better part of two days trying to come up with the words to try to explain it to you.
I can remember getting up in the morning, especially in the spring, and being excited about what the day had in store for me. I can remember feeling peace and contentment with my life. I can remember the rewarding feeling of service – being able to help someone and seeing the gratitude in their eyes or at least just knowing that you did the right thing. I can remember a determination to beat Satan at his games – a desire to win the battles. I remember a zest for life, I can remember feeling emotion at the thought of cleaning the bathroom AGAIN.
The best way to explain the emotions of the last few days is to tell you that I didn’t feel any of that. I was just empty.