The emotions have been getting stuffed a bit lately. There are just so many things going on with the house, so many decisions to make, so much to do and to get caught up on, so much is in limbo as we try to put this and that off until we can be somewhere settled. Little things keep popping up that tear at my heart, but I can’t find the time to deal with it. I keep seeing Dan at odd times, up on a ladder, in my bed, holding one of the kids, playing with the baby, making supper . . .
I got peeved at him again tonight. I was talking about big projects and got to wondering if I would have gotten tired of his big projects as I got older. It was difficult for him to finish projects . . the visionary in him was much better at starting them and then passing them on to me to finish. So I grouched at him for not even finishing his life, . . cried, and then went back to the task of finishing another one of his big projects, raising his children.