When I think about watching Dan take that last breath it never fails to bring the tears. Sometimes in my mind I want to throw myself at him and scream, literally, NO! NO! NO! Other times all I can do is whisper, Oh God! That was all I could say almost that whole week in the hospital. I would find a bathroom where I would slump against a wall and just cry “Oh God! Oh God.” Sometimes I could barely stay upright. Even now the grief still hits and I find myself crumpling to the floor and crying “Oh God.” And He hears me. He sees my unbearable pain and He steps in and shoulders the load so that I can get up again and stumble a few more steps.