• 17Apr

    I took my rings off tonight (4-16-09).  The dirt from building house was getting to be too much and my normal cleaning procedures weren’t cutting the cake. 

    My rings are loaded with history and laughter.  I told Dan right up front that he wasn’t supposed to spend a lot of money on a ring for me because I was just going to lose it.  The only jewelry that I’ve worn consistently is my watch and occasionally a necklace and I knew that getting used to a wedding ring was going to be a bit difficult.  My mother-in-law passed on her wedding band and engagement ring set when she found out that Dan was going to propose, so technically he didn’t spend a lot of money on them.  They were somewhat sentimental, though.  And wouldn’t you know it, I lost the engagement band.  I wore it for about two days and that was it.  I felt awful.  We decided to get the wedding band resized immediately (since that was the reason I lost the engagement ring) and we would use that as the engagement ring. 

    For the wedding he gave me another band with stones in it (I wanted the stones buried in the band so I wouldn’t be breaking them off).  So I had a wedding band for an engagement ring and an engagement ring for a wedding band.  We always did do things a bit backwards.

    Within a year I had actually worn through the one ring enough that it broke.  By the end of the second year the second ring was worn enough that we were afraid it was going to break as well.  So, Dan bought me another ring (keep in mind the expense rule – we weren’t spending a whole lot on these rings, thank the Lord).  I’m not really sure how the time frame worked, but I think I got another ring in there somewhere, too.  The one I am wearing now is wearing a bit more evenly although I noticed tonight that this construction work has put a funny kink in it.

    I am also wearing Dan’s ring.  He only had one.  =)  I felt so cheap, buying his ring at Wal-Mart, but I had absolutely no idea how, when, or where to buy jewelry – especially for a guy.  It turns out to have been a pretty good choice.  It was a good sturdy ring that held up well under all the pressure.  Somehow his ring still looks round.  His fingers were bigger than mine, of course, so when he had to take it off at the hospital before his surgery I put his ring behind mine so I wouldn’t lose it.  It’s been on my finger ever since, since he didn’t bother to reclaim it after surgery.

    They felt heavy when I put them back on tonight after some cleaning.  It felt like a tremendous responsibility resting on me . . being a mother is quite a responsibility in and of itself, having the added task of being Daddy as well seems nigh on impossible. 

  • 17Apr

    I mentioned something to Josiah the one day about Daddy liking to wear his shoes everywhere.  He would put them on first thing in the morning and they would be one of the last things he would take off at night.  Since then, Josiah has only taken his shoes off for bedtime and the occasional afternoon at Nana’s house.  I’ve also found him sleeping without a shirt on . . another Daddy habit.

    Benjamin remembers throwing water balloons at Daddy and is a bit obsessed with the idea currently.  He told me tonight, though, that he probably couldn’t throw water balloons at Uncle Andrew “’cause he has glasses”.  Too bad his Dad didn’t hold to that philosophy.  I would have stayed a lot dryer.  =)

  • 17Apr

    We are gearing up for a family picture taking session.  People keep asking and I keep putting it off . . . I just don’t know if I can do it.  We used to joke that no sooner did we get our family photo updated than it would be outdated because I was pregnant again.  Now I am just having the awful feeling that our family photos will never be right again.  I’ll never have a family photo with Dan AND Caleb.  The kids are going to grow up and none of their pictures will ever have Dan in them again.  Looking at a family shot now just seems to make that big black spot . . the empty spot next to me, seem so much more bare and forlorn.  Steve and Annie Chapman sing a song that says “We are still a family.  Though one of us is gone, we can still carry on.  We are still a family.”  I haven’t been able to come to that realization yet.  I just don’t feel like a family any more.  Maybe a picture would help . . .