Why is it that certain phases of grieving make us want to avoid the things that will keep us healthy, stronger, and more capable of handling the grief? Why do I struggle with eating and sleeping?
And how much of our grief is fear of the unknown? There seems to be a certain amount of fear of failure, of not being able to make the changes necessary to live without the thing or person we have lost.
I’m sad tonight and I think I’m trying to get philosophical so that I have something to think about rather than wallowing in self-pity.
I got a letter from a company that Dan had been working with to try to get a programming job. They wanted him to send a resume. Why am I still thinking things like “I should send them that resume while Dan is out of commission.”
Like maybe he’ll be better till we hear back? Do I think I can do the work until he’s ready to take over?