I seem to be in a bit of a stew. I’ve been thrust into the position of sole caretaker and decision maker for my rather large family and with that comes a certain amount of responsibility with which I am unfamiliar as well as some requirements that I would rather avoid.
One of the joys and privileges of a wife is to be in on the making of a decision, but not having to be responsible for the outcome of the decision. I was very comfortable sharing my ‘two bits’ with Dan, giving him my thoughts, feelings, and sharing my experiences on any given topic. I knew that he would take what I said (he usually asked for it), process it, and come up with a decision that he thought was best for the family. So, once I told him what I thought I would often totally dismiss the problem from my mind. It wasn’t mine to deal with anymore and if he made a faulty decision the blame would rest on his shoulders, not mine.
Now I find myself in the position of being the one to shoulder the blame, the consequences, the results. I’ve been taught good methods for making decisions, I’m not totally lacking in brain power (although my blonde streaks do show up on occasion), I have a confidence in what I know and don’t know, and I have a God who knows everything I don’t know and has promised to guide and direct me if I look to Him.
The real problem lies another direction. One of the helps for making a decision is to seek counsel from those around you. But how does one accept the counsel of one and reject the counsel of another?
It makes me think of Solomon . . nope, it was his son Rehoboam. The people come to him with a request for him to lighten their work load that Solomon put upon them. Rehoboam gets counsel from the old men and from the young men. The old men say “Yes, go easy on them. Lighten their load. Show them you care.” The young men say “Beware, if you go easy on them they will think they can walk all over you. Show them you are tough. Make their load a little heavier so that they don’t think you are a softy and have no idea what you are doing.” (my paraphrase, of course) We belittle Rehoboam for his choice to follow the young men’s counsel, but fail to recognize that there were probably hundreds of other little details that contributed to his choice and not only that, my Bible says that “the cause was from the Lord”. Meaning that the Lord made that appear to be the right choice so that He could “perform his saying” and make Jeroboam king.
Rejecting the “old men’s ” counsel in favor of the “young men” has always been put forth as a stupid thing for Rehoboam to do. So now, when thrust into a position similar to Rehoboam (a man’s home is his castle–or woman’s in this case) I am finding it difficult to put aside the “old men’s” counsel in favor of the “young men’s” counsel.
For those of you who think that I am a wimpy, shy little thing, and are afraid that people will be able to run all over me, I have to remind you that I am a Mother. Mother bears defend their cubs to the death and I am no exception. I will do what I feel is necessary for the care and protection of my children regardless of others opinions. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t feel anxiety about the choices I need to make.
And Yes! I can blame this on you, Dan. If you hadn’t wandered off I wouldn’t have to be dealing with all this and trying to figure out how to shoulder Your Responsibility as well as my own. I liked being able to toss it into your lap . . . .
But I find I’m falling asleep at the keyboard so I must save any further comments on this conversation for a future date.