It was a beautiful day here in MI today. 60 degree weather, a fairly warm brisk breeze, the snow was melting . . . I decided to make the most of it and had the kids playing outside. I went out at one point and they were emptying the garage of various toys, so I decided to check things out. Sigh. The garage has all kinds of building materials and some table tops that Dan wanted to use in our new house. I go downstairs to look for something and see the pieces of the couch that he built for me in Pensacola. Anyone remember that couch? It still makes me smile to think about it. There are still bits and pieces of him all over, just nothing that I can touch or relate to. I was thinking earlier that it’s not so much Dan that I’m grieving for, as it is I’m grieving about the hole he left behind. (Don’t get me wrong, I definitely grieve for Dan . . ) Something will eventually fill most of that hole and the grief will not be so intense, but for now I guess I’m just filling it with tears.
I wonder if the bottle God uses to collect our tears is the hole that He formed in our lives. Then He could turn around and use those tears to irrigate and grow other things in our lives bigger and better. Ah, what a thought. I remember telling God that I wanted to grow, but I didn’t want to go through the trials that would make me grow. Can’t say that my opinion has changed.