• 24Feb

    I’m tired tonight!  I watched 13 kids this afternoon all under the age of 6.  I really didn’t do a whole lot more than just keep track of where they were and make supper (another interesting run in with the oven), but just having that much energy and noise running around tends to wear me out.  It was the same way in college . .

    Speaking of college, I received an alumni update from PCC today (my alma mater).  In it was the little blurp letting the alumni know that Dan had died.  That was actually one of the first things I went looking for.  It’s sort of strange just how much I want people to know that Dan is gone, but at the same time . . . 

    I remember how often I just kind of skimmed that section of the update.  I mean, I don’t know anyone young enough to die.  I also remember sitting down with Dan and going over the list of new arrivals, weddings, etc.  We would read off names and say “that one sounds familiar, do you know them?”  We’d compare notes and if we were really stumped we’d pull out a yearbook and look for a face.  I couldn’t do that this time.  And they had an article in there about how the IT department (where Dan worked) had put together a program for registration.  The kids can now register in minutes on the computers rather than spending most of the day waiting in lines.  It was an article that screamed to me, “show Dan!  SHOW DAN!!”  I can hear how the conversation would go.  It would be a long one, probably last all night as we discussed the pro’s and con’s of the new program, the programmer, the run in’s Dan had with that program when he worked there, etc.  Nothing too specific because he wasn’t allowed to talk about some of the stuff.

    I was so proud of him.  He was a valuable employee.  He worked hard despite his frequent late arrivals.  He often worked extra without bothering to put it on the clock.  He was good at what he did.  He knew enough that he was even called on to help the teachers (even though he was just a student), and was occasionally mistaken for a teacher. (some of that might have been his old age  =).

    They also had a blurp in there about the new sports center thing . . . we spent lots of time in the Sports Center together.  I officially learned how to ice skate in FL, thanks to Dan.  A group of us used to get together every Thursday night and go ice skating.  Since Dan spent about the first 13 years of his life in Alberta, Canada with a Dad who coached ice hockey he was quite good on the ice and I picked up quite a bit from him.  “Do you ever get the feeling that you are being followed?” was one of his favorite lines on the ice. 

    We wanted to go back for a Bible Conference . . have been planning it for years . . just never quite made it.  I could still go, but right now the concept of college without Dan is so foreign . . .   I almost feel like I’ve lost that part of me.  Please! someone remind me that you were there and saw it, saw us, saw that part of my life!  I can see his face in almost every building on campus.  Sometimes I was pregnant, sometimes we barely knew each other (although that one is harder to remember), sometimes he was dating someone else, sometimes he was working, sometimes he was supposedly doing homework in the VAX lab, sometimes he was waiting with flowers for a Fine Arts Date, sometimes he was chattering away in the VC, sometimes we were waiting in line (oh, that picture . . Sunday night box suppers, waiting outside with crowds of people, surrounded by friends, just talking, . . he was adorable that night), sometimes I was waiting for him after class        

    Oh God!  I just can’t see a life without Dan.  What are you doing?! We were going to get old together and share these memories forever!