• 06Jan

    I am SO jealous!!! 

    Heaven is supposed to be such a comfort, (and my dad is right in that the alternative would be awful and that in that sense heaven is a comfort) but I really am having a problem with it right now.  Dan is flaking off on the streets of gold without a care.  He dreamed of a big family, but left me with the work and follow through of such a thing while he’s up there chatting away with Moses, Daniel, and Gideon.  That would annoy me when he was here on earth, too.  He would start a project and somehow I would get stuck with the work of trying to get the task completed.  Or maybe I would be doing the work of chasing kids, getting them ready for whatever, while he stood there and chatted with so and so without even a clue as to what was going on around him.  And he knows so much, what with being in heaven and all, and he’s not telling me any of it.  I told him that if he ever stopped talking to me then I knew I was in trouble.  How in the world (lousy choice of words) can he not tell me something when he knows that he’s right.  He’s on a first name basis with God for crying out loud!  He’s got to know something he’s not telling me.

3 Comments to Jealous

  • Boy oh boy are you right. He does know things he’s not telling you and he is on a first name basis. I struggled with this at different times with my dad being in heaven when I wanted him where I could see, feel and hear him. But, just think of all the quality time you can have with Dan when you too get to heaven. The kids will be grown and you can brag about all their accomplishments and Dan can fill you in on all he has learned and introduce you to the ones he has met. It may seem like forever now, but when I look at my son who is now 18 and driving without parental supervision it seem like just yeaterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. Hang in there enjoy every second you have here where we can enjoy you and your children and know that in the end it won’t seem so long. I still miss my dad after more that 40 years but the memories are sweet and the hurt is healed. Time has a way of doing that. When I needed someone I prayed that God would send someone who could answer all the questions I would have asked my dad and well He really out did Himself. He sent me three substitute dads. One passed away a couple of years ago, one I don’t see any more and one walked me down the isle when I got married and still emails. My prayer is that God will send to you someone to confide in and someone to encourage you and someone to help with the little things that some days seem like mountians. So for you my sweet I pray for three friends to fill the gap that you feel. Praying for you, Auntie Joanne

  • Liisa, I appreciate your honesty. YOu have such a way with words, that you make me almost feel your pain. My heart crys with you. You are always in my prayers. Hang in there, sister.

  • You’re right. It’s not fair. 🙁
    Even in death, he’s talking away without you (and to GOD, no less). What a stinker!

    My mom used to tell me: “It’s a good thing God isn’t fair. If He were, we’d all have no hope.”

    I’m sorry you’re stuck with the hard end of the deal, though. I love you!