I’m crying tonight. It’s been such a long day. I wasn’t feeling well again, the boys were giving me some trouble with school, the house was a mess, laundry that needed to be done still isn’t done, the girls wanted undivided attention, and to top it all off, Maranatha ate my tic tacs. Tic Tacs? you say . . big deal. A little extra sugar never hurt anyone. Bet she doesn’t have bad breath. Normally I would agree with you and say “they’re cheap, we can buy more”. But for some reason these tic tacs are special. Dan picked them up for the both of us . . so I could kiss him . . if the tic tacs are gone I won’t be able to kiss him anymore. Of course, logically that doesn’t make sense because it’s not the tic tacs keeping me from kissing him anymore, but I’m finding that grief really isn’t all that logical.
So now you know the truth. I’m not some strong brave soldier willing to take up any cross for her Lord, rather I’m a weak, spineless sap of a woman who falls apart over a few tic tacs. I came downstairs to hear my children discussing why I was mad at them . . . and I was just so upset that I didn’t even know how to rectify the situation. I should be hugging them more . . sharing love in a very real way . . and I’m just afraid to let someone touch me for fear I’ll fall apart.
But to copy the psalmist, I do have much to be grateful for. Sharon showed up at a key moment, let me vent, shared some of her experiences, and got me into a much calmer mood. Then she took care of supper for the kids and took all but the youngest two off to AWANA (with Eric’s help). Aunt Lorna stopped by today, distracted the kids for a few moments, and brought us some groceries. We got some good news on house stuff. I got an e-mail from Uncle Phil that made me laugh and smile. The boys did finish their school work. The kids do know that I love them and will eventually forget all about this event (except for anything they might read in the future). And with a little bit of sleep, things should slip back into perspective tomorrow. I did have almost all of my kids come visit me at some point or other last night which could account for my “relapse” and lack of sleep.
And speaking of lack of sleep, I think I’m going to try to go take care of that problem. Thanks again to all of you who are praying for me. I guess there has to be rough days . . I just wish I could handle them a bit better. . . time will help, and so will God.